Transitions

My love life is in that transitory long-term-relationship-to-freshly-single phase, and it’s caused me to re-discover some of the joys and pitfalls of single life.  Thus, I decided to expand upon a couple of topics from my Single Lady Armor post.

First, one of the joys.  Letting attractive men flirt with you.  This has been a big mindset shift for me in the last few weeks.  When I’m in a relationship and attractive men flirt with me, I (generally) either let them know that I am unavailable or cut the flirting short before it gets inappropriate.  My ex-boyfriend was very jealous, and I am prone to feeling guilty, so I (generally) tried to be extra good about this while I was with him

In the last few weeks, I've caught myself still feeling guilty when men talk to me, and I have to remind myself that it’s ok.  I am allowed to talk to attractive men.  I am allowed to flirt and smile and laugh at their jokes.  I am allowed to lean in close and touch their arm, and I’m allowed to go on dates.  It’s very refreshing.

Second, one of the pitfalls.  Doing your hair and make up when you go out and always smelling good.  I fall victim to letting certain appearance-related activities fall by the wayside when I am in long-term relationships.  My internal monologue runs like this:

“It takes forever to wash and dry my hair. I had better get in the shower soon.”

Check the clock.

“Shit! Is it that late already?”

Calculating how much time I need to get ready versus when I need to be at the bus stop.

“I’m probably not going to see Boyfriend tonight.  I’m not trying to impress anyone else.  Maybe I could get away with not washing and drying my hair?  It doesn’t look too greasy.”

Recalculating how much time I need to get ready.

“I could save even more time if I didn’t get my body all wet in the shower.  I don’t smell that bad.  I didn’t get too sweaty today.  I’ll just pile on the deodorant and perfume.”

Calculating for the third time…

“Perfect!  That leaves me just enough time to get dressed, put my purse together, and stop at the liquor store on the way to the bus!”

Presto.  No shower for Dr. Sweatpants.

Now that I’m single, and it’s possible to run into my Ex (or those attractive men that I mentioned earlier), I feel compelled to bathe more often before leaving the house.  I don’t always act on the compulsion, but I certainly give it more thought than I did a month ago.

Posted by Dr. Sweatpants