Regional Lady

Having just traveled back to my former home in the Midwest, I’ve been thinking a lot about what it means to be a lady in the Midwest versus what it means to be a lady in the Pacific Northwest. 

In the Midwest, ladies have to put up with cat calls, leering looks, and inappropriate gestures everywhere they go.  These experiences gave me the opportunity to perfect my ability to completely and utterly ignore someone, even if I really want to throw a rock at their head, and to produce a Nasty Death Stare that has been known to shrink testicles and make grown men cry.

In the Pacific Northwest, I almost NEVER encounter this.  Strangers don’t try to get you into their cars, men don’t hang out their window and ask for blow jobs, and they do occasionally make an effort to look at your face.  I don’t have to bust out the Nasty Death Stare very often here.

In the Midwest, ladies frequently run the risk of unwelcome hands from men that they do not know.  In college, I experienced a bad stint with this type of behavior, which ended with me trying to strangle one very surprised young man with his own shirt. 

Again, I almost never encounter this in the Pacific Northwest.  Most men that try to touch me have been given clear signals that they should.  For those that haven’t, it’s almost never offensive (e.g. they put their arm around me versus grabbing my ass).

In the Midwest, ladies can usually expect that men will make a point of holding open doors and offering to carry heavy things.  It’s not that ladies in the Pacific Northwest *can’t* expect this, but I feel like it is more gender neutral here.  Men are polite to both sexes, as are women.  Although I must admit that there have been a few times when I was expecting a helping hand and got none.

Clothing options also differ for ladies by region.  In the Pacific Northwest, a lady will blend in if she wears a t-shirt, a hoodie, a sweater, and a rain coat.  This will get you funny looks in the Midwest.  It’s very cold there.  They just wear one heavy winter jacket.  Leg wear is an issue too.  In the Pac NW, you can get away with wearing dresses in the winter with the help of leggings and boots.  This is not possible in the Midwest without freezing your ass off.  Literally.

Finally, I would say the biggest regional difference for this lady is how I feel.  I feel like I belong in the Pacific Northwest.  I don’t completely fit in anymore in the Midwest.  It’s not that I don’t appreciate all that the Midwest has to offer, including my experiences growing up, but I think I’m happiest being a lady in the land of rain coats and happy hours.

Posted by Dr. Sweatpants