Heartbroken

Is it weird that I liked it better when I was the heartbroken one?  I’ve been through break ups before.  They suck, but I know what to do.  I have my coping mechanisms, my single lady armor, my girlfriends.  My now ex-boyfriend has never experienced a breakup of this magnitude, and he is devastated.

It makes me cry to see him so hurt, but what else can I do?  I am emotionally exhausted.  I have nothing left to give.  I know that this is the right decision, but I feel terrible about inflicting so much heartbreak on someone I care about.

But perhaps wanting to be the heartbroken one is really wanting to take the easy way out?  As much as it sucks to hurt and wonder what went wrong, it sucks even more to know exactly what went wrong and have to explain it to a person that wants nothing more than to live happily ever after with you. 

When it comes down to it, I guess I don’t want to be in either position.  They both suck.  A lot.


Posted by Dr. Sweatpants