Good Intentions Gone Awry

I set out with good intentions this weekend.  I wasn’t going to sleep with him.  He was leaving for several weeks starting Monday.  After that, he might be moving across the country.  Nope, I wasn’t going to sleep with him.  We’d only been on two dates.  I didn’t need another one night stand.  If he was leaving, then I was holding out until he got back. 

Or so I thought.

As we were sitting in the bar at last call on Friday night, I was telling myself that I needed to call a cab.  As we were walking back to his house, I was telling myself that I would call a cab and then make out on the couch for a few minutes until my cab came.  As we were making out on the couch, I told myself I would stop in a few minutes and call that cab.  As we were heading upstairs, I was thinking that I was pretty pleased by what I had felt through his jeans.  Suffice to say, the cab company did not get my business that night. 

Fortunately, it wasn’t just a one night stand.  It was a weekend fling.  A very fun and, as it turns out, much-needed fling.  Now, he’s on his way home for the holidays, I’m getting ready to leave in a week, and we’re both left with some steamy memories.

So, what happened to my resolve?  Why did I sleep with him?

Did I do it because I was drunk?  No.  I had a few drinks, but I was completely coherent.  I knew exactly what I was doing, and I remember everything about the evening.

Do I have an uncontrollable sex drive?  Not really.  I think I have pretty impeccable self-control given all the assholes I haven’t punched in the face.

Did I do it for attention?  Not likely.  I don’t need to be the center of attention, and the male attention I already receive is more than enough to satisfy my needs.

Did I do it to help myself move on from my last relationship?  Maybe.  I was trying to be “good” and “do things right”, but the timing wasn’t quite right for either him or me, so maybe we crossed paths for a reason?  Perhaps we were supposed to enjoy each other’s company while it lasted and move on.

Did I do it because I was caught up in the moment?  Probably.  It was passionate and new and exciting, and I had spent enough time with him to know that I liked several things about him.

Did I do it because I simply wanted to?  I think I have to fess up and say yes to this one.  I didn’t follow society’s rules or even the rules I set for myself.  I just felt like it, so I did it, and I don’t regret it.  Self-indulgent?  Maybe.  But I’m ok with that.

Posted by Dr. Sweatpants