I just got married, but that’s the only thing that has changed about me. I’m still the same person I was when I was single. I resent society, the media, and even my friends and family for the misconceptions and assumptions that have made about me…
To my current employer and future employers…
My husband’s knowledge of, approval of, or feelings about my work schedule are none of your business, and it is COMPLETELY inappropriate and SO 50 years ago of you to even bring it up.
To my single ladies…
The “you’re so lucky you’re married” comments are getting old. Hi, remember me? I’m your once ALSO single friend. I know what you are going through, because I also went through it. Let me be there for you. Also, it wouldn’t hurt to ask what I’m going through. There’s more to marriage than regular sex and anniversaries. I didn’t take your opportunity to find love away from you when I got married. Let’s celebrate each other’s lives, instead of breaking each other down.
To mothers, grandmothers, sisters, uncles, and in-laws…
We will have a baby nine months after we conceive. The glass of wine in my hand is also a good indicator.
To the haters…
The rock on my finger is not a man repellent, a leash, a blood diamond, or an antiquated symbol set on keeping women in their “place.” It is however, a good indicator of my husband’s income and his, ahem, other endowments, and it was a gift, for that I am grateful.
To single men…
I love my husband, am very happy, and will not cheat on him. That being said, feel free to flirt with me every now and then. Consider it practice.
To my sisters…
You haven’t lost me. I’m still your sister.
To the media and society at large…
Then, it wasn’t about the ring, the dress, or the centerpieces. Now, it’s not about the china patterns, the house, the lawn, the bank account, my waistline, or his cholesterol. We love each other.
To the other married ladies…
Stop with the competition. Help us newbies out, show us the way. We know about your fancy cars, your homes in the suburbs, and your precious dogs and babies. We want to know about the fights, the debt, the sleepless nights, and the squeaky closet door, or at least that you’re still human.
Posted by Mrs. Sweatpants
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