How do you know?

I’ve always wondered how women come to the conclusion that they want to sleep with someone.  I’d like to think there’s a specific process I follow in my own life, but there really isn’t.  I know pretty quickly whether or not I want to sleep with someone and even more quickly when I don’t.  However, I don’t really know why.  It’s just something I *know* in my head.

I guess there are lots of things that make me know I don’t want to sleep with someone, but it’s the things that make me say “yes!” that I have a harder time packaging into something that makes sense.  For me, it definitely has more to do with something the person says or does than how they look.  Although I don’t suppose I can completely discount looks, because I can’t deny that looks have a lot to do with initial attraction.  I don’t think I’d start chatting with someone I found utterly repulsive, but I also know that looks are not usually the cincher for my decision.

If I had to summarize all the qualities that have led to my decisions regarding sex, I’d have to say that the person did or said something that made them very intriguing to me and that indicated they weren’t an asshole. 

Examples of Intriguing Things:

1. Personal writing projects.

2. Drawing me nude.

3. Conducting personal science projects.

4. Unusual intelligence.

5. Not being what I expected.

6. Experienced traveler.

7. Messy hair and gorgeous eyes.

8. Having an open mind when it comes to relationships.

9. Sexual energy/intensity that matches mine.

10. Initiating a conversation about books or science.

11. Interesting or oddly-shaped ears.

Indicative of not being an asshole:

1. Having pictures drawn by your nieces and nephews tacked up on your wall.

2. Having a real conversation with me that does not involve sexual innuendo.

3. Not blatantly staring at any part of my body.

4. Being nice to other people with no cajoling required.

5. Being genuinely concerned for someone else’s feelings.

Thus, it appears that some combination of these things triggers the “attraction reaction” in my brain, which has led to the diverse assortment of men that I’ve shared a bed (or tent) with.    


Post by Dr. Sweatpants