Resolving

It’s the beginning of a new year, so it’s an obvious topic, but I’m going to write about my resolutions anyway. Actually, I am going to focus on one resolution in particular, as I feel it applies to many women’s lives.  I tend to put high expectations on myself, and always find a reason to be disappointed in myself, or not accept each moment as “good enough”. I carry a huge weight around with me, a load that usually leaves me feeling utterly defeated at the end of each day. But I only have so many days. I resolve to give myself credit for each day. Instead of measuring each day by what I did not accomplish or check off the list, I will measure it instead by the things I did do, and the things that brought me joy. I wonder about other women that struggle with this issue in their lives. What is it that leaves us perpetually feeling not good enough? Is it society’s expectations? Can we blame the media? Or are women just pre-wired to never be satisfied?

I read an article in a recent Elle publication addressing women’s inability to express the desire for power. The article focused on one interviewer’s experience with interviewing celebrities, politicians and even royalty. She found that the women interviewed tended to defer their success to luck, or other individuals, whereas men were much more ready to give themselves credit for their own accomplishments, and be straightforward about their desires for success, wealth, and celebrity status. Women were also very reticent to discuss the amount of work and dedication they had put into their achievements. I was struck by the fact that even the most powerful, most esteemed women in our society cannot bring themselves to publicly pat themselves on the back. The article’s stance was that women are trained to be modest, taught that women in power are threatening, and that a thirst for success is de-sexualizing. Despite all of the leaps and bounds our gender has made over the last century, we still will not admit that we had anything to do with it. And ultimately, not taking credit for our accomplishments leaves us feeling like we haven’t accomplished anything.

During the 2008 presidential election, I was outraged when Hillary Clinton was labeled a bitch for wearing a red suit, and then chastised for allegedly using tears to appeal to her constituency, when caught wiping her eye. She was trapped in the middle of a paradox, not allowed to wear a power suit, and not allowed to show weakness. It’s no wonder that if someone of Hillary Clinton’s status is affected by such a dilemma, the rest of us walk around feeling pretty bewildered. But really what is stopping us from feeling good enough, and for being proud of what we do and what we want? Is it merely a bit of criticism? I say we get over ourselves and give ourselves more credit.

I propose we all take on a shared resolution. To make it official, please raise your right hand, and repeat this phrase:

I, [state your name], resolve to find joy in each day. I resolve to take credit for my accomplishments, and recognize the good that I contribute to the world each day. I will not shy away from praise from others, and I will praise myself. I will learn from my missteps, but not be defined by them. I will reach for my goals and not apologize when I achieve them. I am woman, hear me roar. 


Posted by Mrs. Sweatpants